Romance Scams Are the Most Expensive Fraud Targeting People Our Age

Romance scams cost Americans over sixty years old $584 million last year, according to the FBI. That makes them one of the most damaging frauds in the country. And the real number is almost certainly higher, because more than half of victims never report what happened.

I want to talk about this one because it hits differently than a fake text or a phone call pretending to be the IRS. Romance scams work by building a real emotional connection over weeks or even months before money ever comes up. The person on the other end seems kind, attentive, and genuinely interested in your life. By the time they ask for help, it feels like you are helping someone you care about.

How These Scams Usually Start

A stranger reaches out on Facebook, a dating site, or even through a game app like Words With Friends. The profile looks real. The photos look real. (Scammers now use artificial intelligence to create photos of people who do not actually exist, so you cannot always trust what you see.) They are often well-spoken and patient. They will talk with you for weeks, asking about your day, remembering details, saying all the right things.

They almost always have a reason they cannot meet in person or do a video call. They say they are overseas for work, stationed on a military base, or working on an oil rig. If they do agree to a video call, the picture might look slightly off or glitchy. That is sometimes a sign they are using technology to fake their appearance in real time.

When the Money Talk Starts

After they have earned your trust, something urgent comes up. They need money for a medical emergency. They are stuck overseas and need help getting home. They have a package held up in customs and need you to pay the fees. Or they want you to invest in cryptocurrency alongside them, showing you a fake website where your "returns" look incredible.

The payment method is always the same kind of thing: wire transfers, gift cards, cryptocurrency, or cash apps. These are nearly impossible to reverse or trace. That is not a coincidence.

AARP found that nearly 1 in 10 adults over fifty have had someone build what felt like a romantic connection online and then ask for money or push them toward a crypto investment. One in six people over fifty say they or someone they know has lost money this way.

What Makes This One So Hard

The shame factor is enormous. People who fall for romance scams often feel embarrassed in a way that victims of other scams do not. There is a painful stigma, the assumption that the victim must have been lonely or foolish. That is not true. These scammers are professionals. They study people. They know exactly what to say.

I understand that feeling. When Sharon and I lost $250,000 to a crypto scammer, I did not want to tell anyone either. But silence is what the scammers count on. It keeps other people from learning what to watch for.

Five Signs You Might Be Talking to a Scammer

1. They will not video chat, or the video looks strange and unnatural.

2. They want to move your conversation off the dating site or Facebook and onto WhatsApp, Telegram, or another private app.

3. They have a reason they cannot meet you in person, and that reason never seems to resolve.

4. They bring up money, whether it is an emergency, an investment, or a favor. A real romantic interest does not ask someone they have never met in person for money.

5. They discourage you from telling your friends or family about the relationship.

What to Do

If any of this sounds familiar, stop sending money immediately. It does not matter how real the relationship feels. Talk to someone you trust, a friend, a family member, your pastor, anyone. You are not stupid for caring about someone. You were targeted by a professional.

You can report romance scams at ReportFraud.ftc.gov or at ic3.gov, the FBI's Internet Crime Complaint Center. Reporting helps law enforcement track these networks even if your money cannot be recovered.

If you want to check whether a photo is real, you can do a reverse image search on Google. Save the photo, go to images.google.com, and upload it. If that same face shows up on stock photo sites or other scam reports, you have your answer.

You deserve a real connection with someone who cares about you. Scammers know that, and they use it against people every single day. The best protection is knowing what to watch for before feelings get involved.

Stay sharp out there.

Pete